The Rules free essay sample

How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are? Never touch the hand railings. Dont stare at people. Try to sit next to a lady on a crowded bus. Walk quickly and dont look around. Dont walk barefoot outside, there could be glass. When you get off the train, walk fast to wherever youre going. Dont give money to people begging for change, they are probably alcoholics. Dont stare at crazy people, you should thank God you are healthy. Put your shopping bag between your legs when you are on the train. Put your purse under your arm. If there are no cars coming, its okay to cross. Never wear white after Labor Day. Always eat whatever is offered when visiting someones house. Always call people on their birthdays. Never lock your bedroom door, there could be a fire and you could get stuck in there. We will write a custom essay sample on The Rules or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Never run around in a parking lot, you could get hit by a car. Never say something about someones weight until they have lost it. If you make a stupid face and someone slaps you on the back really hard, your face will stay like that. If you are the youngest, they found you in the garbage can. You are Mamas favorite, just dont tell Denissa and Lydia. Ray can do things you cant because hes a boy. The boys in the family are to be treated like angels no matter how many times they have been convicted. If they havent called Mama in a year, they arent her grandchildren. Never look in Mamas pots. If you dont take a shower and wash your hair, you are a cochina. Never play where Mama cant see you from the window. If you dont behave, shell tell your mother. If you dont remember when someones birthday is, Mama will tell you. On your birthday, Mama will make your favorite, even if you stopped liking it when you were 10. If you dont eat, shell feed you herself. If you cant understand what shes saying, just laugh with her. Dont bother saying Bless you 20 times, shes going to sneeze 20 more times. You know youre in trouble when they call you by your real name with a Spanish accent. If you dont clean your room, she will go in there with a garbage bag and throw everything away. The days you have to go to church are Mothers Day and Easter Sunday. When you go somewhere with a friend you have to give their name, address, telephone number and nationality. It doesnt matter what your watch says, their watch says you are late. Dont bother running, theyre going to get you no matter where you run. Your mom is a psychic. Your mom knows when you lie. No matter how good the lie, you will end up telling her the truth in a few months. Men are stupid. If a man doesnt like your family, he is no good. If your family doesnt like your man, dont bring him around for dinner. Always serve your man his dinner. He is not allowed in the kitchen unless youve been married for more than a decade and have kids. Never sit on your mans lap; there are plenty of other chairs. If no one laughs at his jokes, please dont bring him back. When Papa goes to bed, you have to be quiet. Check the dollar stores first. Never pay full price when a season sale is only a month away. If something is on sale, buy it in every color. When buying a dress, take Mama, your mom, your sister and however many Titis are available. Whatever you buy one Titi, you have to buy it for all your Titis and any other female whos a friend of the family. If there is a ringing in your ear, someones talking about you. Even if there isnt a ringing in your ear, someone in your family is always talking about you. They will let you know when you are old enough. They dont tell you things for their sake. They yell at you because they love you. Everything they do is for you. If they wiped your butt and fed you, then they can easily kill you for dee fun uv et! All the silly rules that your family gives you will someday use to raise your own children.